(i’m writing this post knowing that it may not be the best idea. i’m applying to churches right now for jobs and internships and i know that some of them will be checking out this site at some point when they look into me to see if i’m worth interviewing. what i’m going to talk about in this includes one of my biggest weaknesses as a christian. i told you guys i was going to be as real as i could be though and this is something that i think we all need to be reminded of.)

yesterday at work i completely annoyed one of the guys i work with. i could see it on his face even when i was doing it. i found out from another person in our office that as soon as the door closed behind me when i left he said something along the lines of “he frustrates me so much.”

all i did was ask him his opinion.

and then i asked him why.

that’s something that i like to do. i always like to find out people’s opinions on things and then ask them why they have that opinion. i knew this guy knew more about the subject we were talking about than i did. i kept throwing out little questions to get him to keep explaining his view. i even asked some devil’s advocate type questions to hear his answer. i kept pushing and kept pushing even though i knew he didn’t like it and wasn’t comfortable with it.

i honestly wanted to know what he was thinking and what made him think that way.

i do the same thing with people and their religious beliefs. i was raised in a pentecostal church. when i transferred to liberty i was in a completely baptist environment and around people that believed all kinds of things that i may or may not have agreed with.

but i didn’t know why i agreed or disagreed with them.

i started asking questions. i started asking friends why they believed certain things. i wanted to know why. i only knew what i had been taught growing up.

i knew what i believed, but i couldn’t answer the question of why when people asked me. if someone did to me what i did to the guy i worked with, i would’ve stumbled over my words and been just as frustrated as he was.

one of my biggest weaknesses as a christian is my ability to recall scripture. i can recall scores from baseball games in high school. i can remember what someone said to me when i was twelve. i can remember what i was wearing when i first met someone. but for some reason i can’t remember scripture.

i had to go in and read the bible and figure out exactly what i believed. i had to find out if i really agreed with the things i was taught when i was a kid. i had to see if what that sunday school teacher (who was usually a family member) said really meant what they said that it did.

but if you asked me to point it out today, i’d still have to read and search for it.

right now, i don’t know the bible that well. i know the stories and i know the core values of it. i know the concepts that it talks about and i know what i believe.

but i don’t truly know it fully.

i know that this is something i need to get better at. i know that it’s going to take me studying and reading to figure it out. i know that it’s going to take me asking people who are smarter than me “why?”

i want to be a sponge. i want to be able to talk to people that know more than me and learn from them. i want to soak it all in and form my opinion partly influenced by those of people that i trust and respect. that’s exactly what i did with the guy at work. it’s exactly what i hope to do with the other staff members wherever it is that i get hired.

i also want to be a leader. i want others to come up to me and ask my opinion. i want to pour into other people so that they can soak up some type of knowledge from me. the only way for me to do that is to sure up what it is that i believe. the only way for me to sure up what i believe is to dive into the bible and actually learn it and memorize it and put it into action.

we have to know what we believe.

we have to know why we believe it.

and we have to be able to tell others about it.

i’m still working on parts two and three. but at least i’m working on it.

say your prayers and take your vitamins.

have a nice day.