yeah i’ve been changing. you’re still waiting on me.
so i haven’t been able to write nearly as much as i’ve wanted to lately. with finals and everything, i think i pumped out 55 pages of papers in two weeks. strangely, some of them were even fun. even stranger, i’ve had people ask me when i was going to write something new for on here. that shocked the crap out of me and was a big time thrill. i just wanna make sure i say thank you to the people reading this. i find out about more people all of the time and it’s completely awesome. thanks a ton to you guys. it means a lot to me. i know that’s cliche’d, but it’s the truth.
with finals being over, and having a few days before my intensive starts next week, i decided to come home for a few days. right now, as i write this, i’m sitting in one of my favorite places in this entire world – on the deck behind my house overlooking our pool. if you’ve ever been to my house, you know how awesome this spot is. if not, well, it’s great.
today i was doing some work for my dad in his office. i saw a box sitting in there that i recognized immediately. when we moved to this house in march of 04, i threw a lot of the stuff for my room in this huge box until my bedroom in the basement was finished being built. once it was finished, i never moved anything down there and ended up moving out a couple months later. this box was that box.
i started looking through this giant box. it had my yearbook from every single year of school, kindergarten through senior year. i found pictures from my band trip to disney my freshman year. i found advertisements to shows that we held around king. i found an old notebook that i had written lyrics all over from my senior year of high school. i found notes and cards that caitlin had given me and laughed my butt off whenever i read them. they were probably the coolest things in the entire box.
all of this stuff brought back all these memories. some of them that were bad when i was in high school were suddenly great. it was weird. one thought stuck out in my head more than anything.
as much as i’ve changed, i haven’t really changed at all.
i’m looking through all of this old stuff and i realized that i’ve changed a lot over the past few months but i’m still that same 17 year old kid that walked the halls of west stokes in 2004. i still think of random band names and write them on notebooks. i still speak in song lyrics and lines that other people wrote. yeah, i act different and have a different outlook than i did five years ago, but deep down inside i’m still that same kid.
being home brings back different memories every time i come here. i pass someone on the road, or find a piece of paper, or go by a place that reminds me of growing up in this town. sitting out here on this deck, i don’t have to worry about all of the crap that’s going on around me. i went out in the front yard and played with my dogs for fifteen minutes earlier today. i ate at one of my favorite places today. i drove up brown road and appreciated the view of the mountains that i used to take for granted.
every change that has happened in my life over the past few months is something that i wouldn’t trade for anything. god’s done more work in me then than at any other point in my life. with that being said, i never, ever, want to forget that 17 year old kid that i found today.
say your prayers and take your vitamins.
have a nice day.
(ps – i just heard someone shoot a shotgun. yup, i’m home.)