with selfless faith
it’s been a week since the last time i’ve written anything on here. i didn’t mean for that to happen. really, i didn’t. i’ve had the urge to write but every time i think about it i don’t have anything to write about or just don’t feel it at that moment. i kept putting it off and putting it off and, well, now we’re here.
in the past year, i’ve written two other entries like this one. the first one i wrote back in august (being grown up isn’t half as fun as growing up) and another one back in january (we’ll start a revolution can’t you see it now?). they were both written the day of or the day before a new “chapter” of my life started. this one is written in the same context.
yesterday, a friend of mine sent me a message on facebook chat asking how i was doing. i responded with a basic “pretty good.” instead of responding with your typical, “that’s good” she said, “that wasn’t very convincing.” i laugh when i think about it because, well, it wasn’t. i told her that i things were just that – pretty good. i was content with the way everything was going and didn’t have anything to complain about.
and really, that’s exactly where i am.
camp is over and i’m back in my house in lynchburg, around people my own age, around the people i’m comfortable with, doing the things that i’m comfortable doing.
i somewhat (unofficially) started my new job today and it’ll kick into a little higher gear tomorrow and as the week goes on.
school starts a week from monday.
i’m perfectly content with the way life is.
it’s actually a weird feeling for me. it’s something that i’m not used to. generally speaking, for the past five years, i’ve known that some type of change was just around the corner. i knew that after graduation, grad school would be different. i knew i wouldn’t be working at liberty football forever. i knew that after camp was over, i had to get a job and all of that. unless something weird or completely unexpected happens, i start up a pretty good routine starting this week. this job could last a year, two years, or maybe even longer than that.
like i said in the beginning of this post, i haven’t really known what to talk about. i usually write things out in my head before i post the. this is just me winging it and working through my thoughts.
i find it funny that the song “hosanna” just came up in my itunes simply for the fact that there’s a line in the song that says, “i see a generation rising up to their place.” that’s sort of what’s happening in my life. everyone i know is starting to move into positions where we’re not just kids anymore. our athletics department is filled with graduate assistants that i’ve known for a few years, had class with, and spent a ton of time joking around with. now we’re all still together, but instead of joking around and complaining about how dumb dr. martin’s tests are, we’re having to work together to get stuff done. i go through my head and think of different people i know and jobs they’re working – accountant, nurse, assistant equipment manager, youth pastor, etc. it’s really weird, and really cool, to see where we’ve all ended up. we are all the same person we’ve always been, but it’s fun to see how we’ve all grown up.
i talk a lot about growing up. it’s even in the header on here. it’s something that fascinates me and that i love to think about and watch.
i think one of the coolest things about the way i feel right now is know that i’m not done. this job could last one year, two years, or five years. it could be a ton of fun and i could love every second of it. but i know, deep down inside of me, that there’ll be a day when i’m told, “alright, time to do my work” and i can honestly say i can’t wait til that day comes. god’s letting me do the stuff that i want to do now like i begged for three years to do because he knows when it’s time for me to do the stuff he wants me to do, i’ll do it.
chances are, this is one of the worst entries i’ve ever made on here and i’m perfectly fine with that. i’m not even going to proofread this before i post it because it’s just a jumbled mess of thoughts and everything. i’m not even sending this one out on twitter or facebook. this one was more for me than it was for everyone else. i’ll post something later this week that is actually, you know, good, but for now, this’ll have to do.
say your prayers and take your vitamins.
have a nice day.