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grace
Church in the 90’s was all about one thing: looking the part. Guys all wore the same polo shirt tucked into the same pair of khakis and girls all wore the same dresses. We answered every “God is good” statement with “all the time” and pretended it wasn’t the cheesiest thing in the world. We’d sing the same songs each week all while trying not to laugh at the old lady who brought her own tambourine. Then, after shaking hands with Mr. Smith who remembers when we were “this” big, we’d sit down to listen to the same sermon about hell fire, brimstone, and not sinning. We were taught that Christians were supposed to look a certain way, act a certain way, and be a certain way. It was all about rules and “being in the world, but not of the world.” And not listening to Metallica. Whatever you do,…
What Taylor Swift taught me about telling my story
When my littles are getting fussy and whiney and all the snacks in the world aren’t cutting it, we blast Taylor Swift and “Shake it Off.” We dance crazily around the living room and I swing kids in circles until they dizzily fall over and ask for more. Our moves are silly, without the self-consciousness that I remember having in all those high school dances. We stomp, laugh, and clap and my boys do karate moves or spy moves or whatever they’re into at the moment. We dance out all of the big feelings for which we don’t have any more words left. We let the music and our bodies move in sweeping rhythms that restore who we are: a family who loves being together. Our dance parties are just one scene from our family story that I hope my kids remember. I hope they remember the fun and the…
On not being good enough and why it doesn’t matter
Sometimes it’s nice to complain about things with other people. There’s something in the raw venting that feels good. You know it’s your emotions talking and half the stuff you’re saying is stupid, but it still feels great to say them. I was having one of these emotional vent-fests with a friend one day and he was talking about his boss screwing him with a decision. He pulled a power play and didn’t care about the result. In the midst of his venting, my friend said, “I shouldn’t be surprised he did that. That’s his fatal flaw. He does it all the time.” My friend said the fatal flaw comment so casually that it caught me off guard. I’d never heard of the concept so I asked him more about it. He told me every person has (at least) one major fatal flaw that holds them back from accomplishing everything…
You have permission to not be perfect.
On Monday I wrote a post on why you should screw up your life. I said fear paralyzes us from going after what God’s calling us to. His invitation may screw up the comfortable lives we’ve spent years crafting. In writing that post, I had a nagging voice in the back of my head. The voice kept asking a question: What if I’ve already screwed my life up, but not in a good way? Unfortunately we all make mistakes. We may have the best of intentions and still end up blowing it. Maybe it’s getting married before you were ready and having the marriage fall apart. Or maybe it’s failing at a job over and over. Or maybe it’s getting two college degrees and a mountain of student loan debt only to not use any of the degrees. Oh wait, that last one hits home a little.