i normally try to tell a story or something to sort of ease into what i’m going to “admit” in each post. i rarely just come right out and say what it is right away. i soften you up and then lay it out there. today, i’m just gonna say it:

i’m a cryer.

yup. i said it. i’m a cryer. i cry during movies. go ahead. laugh it up. keep laughing. okay, it’s not that funny. stop.

there are certain movies and certain scenes that get me. there are the typical “it’s okay if dudes cry here” scenes like when old yeller dies or something like that but then there’s another type of movie that always gets me: the sports movie with the teenager.

there’s the scene in coach carter where the guy’s cousin gets killed and then the kid bangs on the door and tells coach carter he wants back in.

there’s the one in the rookie when all the kids tell the coach that it’s his turn.

there’s the one in remember the titans where the mom comes back in stadium after the car crash. okay, there are really like twelve scenes in that movie.

needless to say, if it involves teenagers in emotional situations, there’s a good chance i may or may not be bawling my eyes out.

tonight i went to see to save a life. it’s a movie i’ve been wanting to see. it’s a movie i knew i would cry in. i just didn’t know how much i would cry in it or that i’d spend most of the movie fighting back tears.

this movie had everything that hits home with me. it involved students who were in crappy situations. it had kids that were searching for something, for anything, to make their lives suck just a little less. there was the typical teenage drama. there were the jocks and the nerds. everything that came with growing up was in the movie.

a little over a year ago i wrote a blog post where i simply wrote down a lot of “i wish” type of saying. in that post, i said “i wish i knew what i wanted to be great at. i’m good at a lot of stuff but i’m not great at anything. i know that’s a good thing, being diverse and all, but i still would like to be great at something.”

the movie tonight reaffirmed what i’ve been thinking lately:

i want to be great at impacting the lives of teenagers.

that’s what i want to do. all my life, i’ve thought that i’d just volunteer in a church, help out, or whatever. over the past year, god has worked in me to where the only thing that i want to do is work with teenagers and teach them about jesus. that’s it. if i can do that, i’m ecstatic.

there are some things that people can think about and it instantly energizes them. for me, it’s doing this. i’m writing this at 10:30 at night when i didn’t get much sleep last night and just thinking about it is getting me amped up. i want to go out and and do whatever i can to make a positive impact in the lives of people going through the most awkward time in their life.

i don’t know what the future holds for me. ideally, some church leader who’s looking to hire a student guy whether it be as an intern or full time will read this and like what he reads and bam, i get hired. however, things don’t always work like that. right now i’ve applied to a few different places for internships. i’ve sent out feelers to a few more to see if they have anything available. i have absolutely no clue what my next step is or where i’ll be in three months.

the one thing i do know is that god has put a passion for high school and college students inside of me. if he has put that passion in me, and has put this calling on my life, then he’ll provide something. i don’t know what or when, but something will come up.

i finally found what it was that i want to be great at.

now i just have to wait for the opportunity.

say your prayers and take your vitamins.

have a nice day.

-jonathan