We’re all put on this earth to do something. Kobiyashi was meant to eat hot dogs and Seth Curry was meant to drop buckets. We all have a purpose. Some of us find out earlier than others what it is. Some of us spend more time searching for it. If you read my notes regularly, you read a week or two ago where I said I’ve changed my prayer from “God, show me what my purpose is” to “God, get me ready so that I can be ready when the time comes.” Since that change, I’ve had this feeling inside of me that keeps growing and growing, and that’s what I’m going to talk about.

I would like to start off by saying the last few days, mainly since Christmas Eve, have been awesome. I haven’t really done too much. I have hung out with some people but nothing especially exciting. I have just felt really good. I went to a family Christmas thing in Statesville on Saturday night and coming home I got that stay out all night mood that I really haven’t had since high school. It was the mood where, if I had the friends to do it, I would’ve went out to Greene St or Burke St or something and just hung out most of the night having a good time. It was a feeling that felt like me. I was smiling for no reason. I was dancing and singing way too loud and way too bad while driving down the road. I wanted to go out and be the life of a party somewhere and be the guy that made everyone else have a good time. The people who have been around me the past five months probably don’t recognize that guy and really, not many people who have been around me the past year or two wouldn’t recognize him. It felt like me though, and it felt good.

I’ll start this off in a way that most guys wouldn’t even consider, and that’s by admitting in the past three weeks, I have cried twice. The first time was December 4th after reading an e-mail from my mom and the other time was earlier today when I had lunch with my grandma.

Now, before I go further, I wanna point out that I’m not the type to cry very much at all. Up until July 9, I can remember crying one time in the last ten years or so. My grandpa died and I didn’t even cry. It’s just not me. I keep it in and just deal with it on my own.

Me and Nate were talking a week or two ago about this and it’s something that’s scary, funny, and a whole lot of emotions all wrapped in one. My entire life, I had an idea of where I was going to be 3-5 years from that particular point in time. I might not have known an exact location or specific job, but I had an idea. My senior year of high school, I knew 3-5 years from then I’d be in college. A year ago, I knew I’d probably be in grad school, working for dad, or at least in Lynchburg for a few years until I got married and then we’d see from there. Right now, on December 18, I can honestly say I have no clue whatsoever where I’ll be, what I’ll be doing, or who I’ll be doing it with 3-5 years from now.