i decided i wanted to write something new earlier today. i just had that itch. so after that decision was made, i started thinking about what to write about. a lot of stuff is going on right now and there’s a lot of different things i could write on. some things were negative. some were positive. some were pretty neutral. in the end, i finally settled on one thing: i have an awesome life. for those that are wondering – yes, i’m bragging. of all the stuff that i thought to write about, it all came back to that. some things at work with football right now aren’t going good. i don’t know when i’m starting in georgia yet and haven’t heard any of the details about that. school next fall is being all weird. people around me are acting really shady and i don’t like it. however, with all…

so have you ever had that moment in church where it’s like a tv show and everything around you disappears and it’s just you and god? that happened to me tonight and now i’m going to tell you about it. most people reading this know the story of me and my ex and how it ended and all of that good stuff. i’ve written over and over about the process of getting over it, letting go, and moving on. even while i write this, i can honestly say i’ve done all of that. i’ve got over it. i’ve let go. i’ve moved on. that doesn’t mean things don’t hurt or bother me. whenever i get going right with god and i’ve got that, “hey god, let’s do this. let’s change the world.” attitude, i’m always reminded about what happened. a couple of weeks ago when i was on the way…

some nights are great. everything goes your way. you laugh. you have a good time. everything goes the way it’s supposed to. then there are nights that suck. for whatever reason, you just can’t kick that down feeling that you have. tv or movies kinda mask it for a little bit, but in the end, the night sucked and you went to bed early. and you know what? i’m perfectly fine with that. the crappy nights make the better nights better. it’s part of life. things can’t be great all of the time. with that being said, this is one of those nights. i’ve sat back and wondered why tonight was bad and what the problem was and it led to me thinking about other things and other things and other things. there are things on the surface that made tonight kinda suck, but there are things deeper than that…

for one of my classes, i’m required to do five servant evangelism “acts.” i’d been waiting for the basketball season to end and for the weather to get nice so i could do one of the block parties that the seminary does on weekends. this weekend, i finally got to do that. going into this weekend, i had no clue what to expect. i just knew i’d be going down there, helping run this thing, and hopefully i would have a good time. i had no clue i would enjoy the trip or that it would be as beneficial as it was. i woke up at 5:20 in the morning on saturday. before i go any further, let me say that waking up before the sun does should be a sin. if not a sin, it should be illegal. after taking a shower, i headed towards campus. on the way…

There was a guy at Liberty that said something that became legendary. It was before my time, but it’s still something that I have heard as a joke from God only knows how many people here. There may have never been three words that were more true ever spoken at a university in the world. What are those three words?

Jeeshus ish aweshum.

“I’m becoming such a church nerd. It’s really weird.”

I said that to Megan tonight. It’s the truth really. For years, I ran away from this idea of going into ministry. I wanted nothing to do with it. I told God I’d go to church and serve and that stuff, but I wanted to work in sports, or I wanted to work in real estate, or I wanted to work pretty much anywhere other than a church. I remember talking to Ashley and telling her that I thought ministry may be where I was being called to and that it scared the crap out of me. She was the first person I had ever admitted that to, and even then it was weird to admit it. Two months ago I gave in and stopped trying to change God’s mind. I said I would listen. I stopped the car, got out, walked around, jumped in the passenger seat, and said here, you drive. Since then, it’s been an interesting ride.

It’s been a while since I’ve written anything on here. Part of that is I haven’t taken the time to write. The other part is I mainly write stuff when I’m laying in bed right before I go to sleep. My laptop’s been broken so I haven’t been able to do that. Instead of one theme to write about, I thought I’d just give an update of what all’s been going on with me. Read if you want. Don’t read if you want. Doesn’t matter to me. I’ll go ahead and warn you it’s rather long but I think there are some good things in here that some of you would be better off reading.

I wish I could look at people like I used to. I trusted people from day one. I didn’t suspect them of ulterior motives. I didn’t try to figure out how they were going to hurt me before they did it. I just trusted them. Not anymore. Nowhere close to that.

I could talk about all of the things that went on over the past two days but there’s one time and thing that sticks out to me. It was around 11:45 this morning. I’m standing in church at Brentwood singing the songs and I looked around and the thought hit me. Being in church with your friends is one of the best things you can experience in life. Some people will read this and think that’s just normal, and if that’s the case, I’m somewhat sorry. If you don’t realize what a blessing it is then I feel sorry for you. Growing up, I never had friends in my church. They all went to other churches. Today was the first time where my group of friends decided to go to church together.