our god is good

tuesday night i was driving up to lynchburg from king. i had been on the road probably an hour and twenty minutes or so. i was on a back road just north of martinsville. it was the middle of nowhere really, just two lanes, trees, me, and god. i had seen my grandpa earlier in the day. i had gotten the awesome present for my birthday that i talked about in my last post (read it if you haven’t yet). i was worried about my grandpa. i was worried about my brother and sister. i was worried about my parents. i was worried about my grandma. all of these were normal feelings. so i’m driving along and i get this urge to put on what i call my jesus music. my jesus music is actually just worship rock (starfield, fee, etc). i don’t normally listen to praise and worship much.…
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how merciful the love showed

i turned 23 on tuesday. i didn’t really publicize my birthday at all. i took it off of facebook and any other type of thing that would say, “hey, today is jonathan’s birthday!” i didn’t even tell the people i work with that it was my birthday. i’m actually having a birthday party on saturday that i didn’t tell anyone that it was a birthday party. i really didn’t want it to be a big deal. normally birthdays aren’t that good for me. when i turned 16, i invited a bunch of people to my house to hang out and have a little birthday party. two people showed up. when i turned 18, i was working at the ymca as an after school counselor and was showing the kids something and ended up severely spraining my ankle. last year when i turned 22 me and the ex had the fight…
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you are ever faithful

this entry is one that’s kind of hard to write but it’s what’s been on my mind lately. i’ll go ahead and warn you that it’s not happy. it’s not upbeat. it’s not me complaining about anything. it’s just a hard subject to think about and that’s why i want to write about it. last week a friend of mine’s dad, who is a police officer, was shot. i’m not going to go into details, but he was in very critical condition. the friend called me and unfortunately i missed the call and she didn’t leave a message. at the time i didn’t know what was going on so i didn’t think anything of it. later that night is when i found out he was shot. i kept meaning to call her back and kept forgetting. but i didn’t forget to pray. i was walking into walmart yesterday about 2:15…
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blame it on this southern weather. blame it on anything.

so lately i’ve been in a rut. i’ve felt weird and it’s just been, well, different. it’s one of those things where i know some of the things i was doing or thinking weren’t what i was supposed to be doing, and i wasn’t so sure why i was doing or thinking them. over the past, i don’t know, two weeks or so i’ve felt myself slip back into “normal 22-year-old guy” mode. it’s the mode where i make all the dirty jokes that pop in my head. it’s the mode where i look at certain places when i see a girl walking towards me down the sidewalk. it’s the one where i think about those certain places as i walk past that girl on the sidewalk. it’s the one where i’m like every other guy out there. but it’s not the way i want to be. more importantly, it’s…
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broken down on memory lane we’re alone together

if you’re reading this right now, and have read it before in the past, and haven’t figured out that i spend way too much time thinking about random crap that doesn’t matter, then, well, i spend way too much time thinking about random crap that doesn’t matter. today has been another one of those days. since may 31st, i have worked a ton. i worked camp this summer where i went non stop from sunday afternoon until friday afternoon and then had to do homework all weekend. when that was over, i went right into working in my job that i have now where i work 50-60 hours a week a lot of time. needless to say, i don’t have a lot of free time. today i did though. with our bye week being this week i was able to take most of today off. it’s been great sitting back…
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i remind you of everything you hate and you remind me i’m the one to blame

(note: i started writing this a little over a week ago. i was interrupted before i could finish it. that’s why some of it may be a small repeat but most of it is new and i felt like finishing what i had started.) i ran into a friend of mine today. i actually run into him quite often but we normally only have time to say a quick hey and go about our business. i’ve known the guy for a few years and we’re not bff’s by any means but i think we’d describe ourselves as being friends. today we actually got the chance to talk for a couple of minutes though. we’re at a similar point in life. he’s a little ahead of me in it in some regards but it’s still pretty similar. he’s married and finishing up his last class of undergrad while his wife student…
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move me and disturb me. interrupt my peace.

i think that god laughs at me a lot. it’s not a laugh in a negative sense, but more the laugh that a dad gives when he’s thinking, “told ya so.” i’d like to think i’m the source of at least a little bit of entertainment for him. i’m completely open to doing whatever it is that god wants me to do. i’ll go wherever it is. i’ve given up on doing life on my own or doing what jonathan wants and not what god wants. but i still like to give god my opinion. it’s one of those situations where you know a teacher is going to give you homework, or you know the test is going to be next friday, but you raise your hand anyway and try to throw out the “yeah, but we’ve got that big basketball game against the rival school on thursday night. can…
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i changed the name on this one too because google liked it too much

i’ve sat down to write this entry two times already. each time that i did, i ended up clicking refresh on facebook about 37 times instead. maybe somebody added new pictures in the 2.6 seconds since the last time i clicked on the picture icon. or hey, there’s a kid that i had one class with back in my freshmen year of high school. i wonder what they’re doing now. basically, i didn’t want to write what i’m going to write. this blog has become my place to let things out. i average about 30 views per post. sometimes more. sometimes less. it’s not like i’m telling the whole world my problems but i’m at least getting them out in the open. one of the hardest parts about getting over my last relationship was the idea of making myself vulnerable. that’s part of what i’m doing with this. i’m purposely…
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memories fade but scars they never do

before i get started, let me put a disclaimer on here. this post is yet another one about the breakup and the process of moving on. if you’re tired of me talking about it and don’t care anymore, feel free to not read this. i won’t take offense to it. i just needed to write this post so that i could get my thoughts out of my head and could start to somewhat understand what i’m thinking. disclaimer #2: this ended up being really long. um, sorry? last monday night, i wrote this: i’m not saying i’m going out and looking for people to date. i’m perfectly content being single. sure, i would absolutely love to meet a girl, fall in love with her (and her with me this time), get married, make little jonathans, and live happily ever after but i’m not out looking for it. but i can…
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we once walked out on the beach and once i almost touched your hand

i wasn’t going to write this. i sat down to write it two other times and talked myself out of it. yeah, i know one of the things people like is that i’m honest but in my head, i said there are some things that i’m just not ready to admit. i don’t want people to know about them. i don’t want to deal with what people may think of me. i don’t want people to know that i think like that so i’ll just keep it to myself. this can be my thing. but it kept popping up in my head. i knew that i wasn’t going to be able to stop thinking about it unless i put it out there. so, well, here it goes. the other night i wrote that “throughout the night i just had this feeling inside of me…i felt like something was missing.” in…
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