One of the things I’m most grateful for in life is that my parents raised me to appreciate people. My dad was almost militant in making sure I said please and thank you not only to my elders, but everyone I came in contact with.

It annoyed me then but I’m thankful for it now.

As I’ve grown up, I’ve always tried to make it a point to look people in the eye and say thank you. The baggage kid at the grocery store. The bank teller. The fast food employee. I always want them to know I’m grateful for their small role in the conveniences of my life.

As part of that, my go to phrase as I’m leaving those interactions is “hey I appreciate it. Have a great day!”

I started seeing them as more than the cashier at the gas station and the waitress at my favorite restaurant. They were real people with real feelings and real stories.

A few months ago I started a logo and website project for a friend from college. It was a tedious project as we first went through the discovery process of what we wanted her brand to convey. We went through rounds and rounds of ideas and designs and couldn’t quite capture the it factor we were looking for.

To keep us from getting frustrated I suggested we table the project for a week and come back with fresh eyes. As we ended the phone call, she said my familiar phrase except one small word was changed:

“Hey I appreciate you.”

I immediately felt different than when hearing “I appreciate it” from someone else.

I felt like she appreciated who I am, not what I can do.

And that felt good.

After experiencing the feeling of that one word, I decided I wanted to give other people the same feeling. So when I checked out at the grocery store I told the college kid bagging my groceries I appreciate him, not his ability to put my groceries in a bag. I told my daughter’s day care teacher I appreciate her, not just the fact she’s taking care of my kid all day. I made it a point to thank people for who they are and not what they do for me.

And then a funny thing happened:

I started seeing them as more than the cashier at the gas station and the waitress at my favorite restaurant. They were real people with real feelings and real stories.

As with most things in life, I started out trying to make someone feel just 1% better about their day and ended up getting more out of it than I gave.

People will always be more important than what they can do for us. 

Changing one word in my go to sentence has reminded me of that simple truth.

Try it. It’ll completely change how you look at the people in your life you see every day but have never really noticed.