let your light shine in
(edit: i wrote this last night but the storm knocked our internet out so i’m just now being able to post it.)
i just spent the last 45 minutes in my car sitting in the driveway next to the house i’m staying in for the summer watching what was quite possibly the best lightning storm that i’ve ever seen. the whole sky was lighting up. first i would see it light up back towards bedford, then up towards lynchburg, and then it would move to east of there. then it would just pop around and there’d be bursts of light coming from every direction. as great as it was, it wasn’t even the best “god is awesome” moment of my night.
a few months back, i think it was february but i don’t remember exactly, i was standing in church at brentwood on a sunday morning. things were going good. i was building up a big time “yay god” feeling. i was singing along and clapping along and things were good. then, out of nowhere, before i even realized it, i heard twelve words that was like a punch to the nuts.
savior, he can move the mountains. my god is mighty to save.
i almost started crying right there in the middle of the service. no joke. i’m not over exaggerating that or building it up for the sake of the story. i literally almost broke down into tears in front of 350 people during praise and worship.
and it wasn’t in a “yay god” type of way.
that song reminded me of a girl. it reminded me of a different time. it reminded me of all of the crap that had happened in the seven months between july and february. it reminded me of the smile i used to get when i heard the words “my god is mighty to save” because of who it made me think of.
it hurt.
fast forward a month or two to march or april. once again, i’m not sure of the exact time. i wrote on here about how i had taken communion and trusted god to take that same pain away because i was still dealing with it at the time. then, after communion was over, that song was the first one the band played. i said at first i couldn’t believe it but then god basically asked me if i believed he could do what i had asked or not.
it was that night that all of the pain of the break up and all of that heartache went away.
since that night, i’ve been in church a few times and heard that song. i sang along and it didn’t bother me. last night, it was playing on the speakers before church here at camp. tonight, the band played it and we sang it. as i was standing there singing, with about 30 or so staff members around me, in one of the best worship atmospheres i have ever been in, i realized that i loved that song.
there are some things that certain people like more than others because they can relate to it in a way that others can’t. that’s what this song is for me. god moved what was a ginormous mountain in my life. he took away something that controlled me for nine months. he saved me from a downward spiraling depression that i didn’t know how to get out of on my own.
what once made me want to cry now made me want to sing out louder than i ever had before.
what once made me want to shut down and give up now gave me hope and energy and a desire to go out and show jesus to everyone.
what once tore me up inside because of who it reminded me of now made me smile because of who and what it reminded me of.
seeing lightning light up a mountain while sitting in an open field is pretty awesome. seeing god move a mountain in your life takes the cake though.
say your prayers and take your vitamins.
have a nice day.
-jonathan