first off, credit evan taylor with the title of this post. check his stuff out at thelouder.wordpress.com.
now, onto what i planned on writing about. normally when i write on here, it’s because i have figured something out that i think other people could use. i try to be somewhat motivational and try to relay things that could help you guys out. this entry is a little different. i don’t have things figured out on this one. i really have no clue whatsoever.
last week i found out that my boss just assumed i wouldn’t be coming back to work at football in the fall. because of that, he hired someone to basically take my place and take my job. once he finally asked if i was coming back and found out i never once had intentions not to be there in the fall, he kind of started scrambling to try to get it approved for both of us to work there. instead of getting the hours i’m getting now, they’re instead going to tell me exactly when i can and can’t work (as opposed to the flexibility i have now) and it will be about 5-10 hours less than i’m getting now.
basically, i could be losing my job for doing a great job at it.
yesterday i called down to westridge church to try to find out the details on what was going on this summer. come to find out, they cancelled the internship. they weren’t even going to call me. they mailed a letter explaining everything but had i not called, i wouldn’t have had anyone verbally tell me they had cancelled it.
in one phone call, my entire plans for this summer changed.
in one week, my entire plans for the next eight months changed.
i was left with an interesting thought in my head. it was a familiar thought, one that i had experienced before. i found myself asking, “alright, so where is god in this? did his plans change? did i not interpret his plans right the first time? is this part of something more?” basically it all boiled down to one point:
i need to find god in this.
god has a plan for everything. i know that. i’ve always known that. god’s timing is perfect. what god wants done will be done. i know all of this stuff. knowing this and actually finding out what that plan is and what god wants done are two different things. it’s funny that i’m doing a bible study next week on “playing marco polo with god – finding god’s call for your life” and this happens this week. i know what my calling is. me and god are cool with that. i’ve just got to find out where he’s pointing me to in the short-term future.
originally i had planned to take two distance learning classes this summer while i was in georgia, take three classes in the fall, and then plan on taking one next spring after i’ve hopefully gotten a job somewhere. apparently my plan was wrong. i’ve scrambled over the past day to make up a make-shift plan for school over the next eight months but i don’t know if it’s what i’m supposed to be doing or not. it was basically a cover my butt plan while i search out god’s plan.
now, don’t take this post the wrong way. i’m not complaining at all about what has happened. it’s part of life. it’s not like i don’t have opportunities other places doing other things. the point i’m trying to make is that now instead of trying to do it my way and what i want to do like i would’ve six months ago, i’m seeking god and trying to find where he is in all of this. i used to try to make my plans on my own and then tell god that’s what i wanted to do. a few times i think i heard him laugh. instead, i’m actively seeking what it is he wants me to do. i have no clue where that will take me or what i’ll end up doing. i’m excited to find out though.
right now i have no job for this summer.
right now i have no idea what city or even what state i’ll be in this summer.
right now i have no clue how i’m getting money this summer.
summer starts 25 days from now.
and you know what? i’m not stressed at all. i’m not worrying at all. god’s bigger than me. he’s bigger than liberty football. he’s bigger than westridge church. what he wants to happen will happen, and it’ll be better than all of that stuff every could’ve been.
as always, say your prayers and take your vitamins.
have a nice day.