We are friends, right? Do you mind if I’m totally honest with you for a minute? This is hard to say publicly but I feel I need to admit it:
The past couple weeks have been hard and I’m a little bummed out because of it.
I knew starting my own business would have its ups and downs. I knew it wouldn’t be amazing right away. I even knew there would be fights and challenges unlike anything I’d ever faced.
And I was right.
But the fight this month has been tougher than expected.
There have definitely been some positives but I had a goal this month and it didn’t happen. It’s not the end of the world but it’s not the shot-in-the-arm confidence booster I am needing either.
As I tie the bow on February, I’m left asking myself a few questions:
Did I hear God correctly when he invited me on this journey?
Did I make the right decision?
Is this thing going to work?
Those are all hard questions. They force me to take a step back from the emotional attachment to my own life and look at things objectively.
After taking the time to think about these questions, I’m left with one simple answer:
Yes – I heard God correctly.
Yes – I made the right decision.
Yes – this thing is going to work.
I can be confident in those answers because I’m confident in my provider.
Over the past two months, Nicole and I have made less money than at any point in our marriage. At the same time, we’ve somehow been able to save more and pay off more debt than at any point. I have no explanation for how we have been able to do that other than God providing in ways that may not always make it into the bank statement.
I didn’t get my confidence booster in the way I wanted it, but I did get something even better:
The hope of a provider.
I don’t know how this whole thing is going to work out. I have no clue what we are going to do for childcare once our little girl gets here. And I don’t know how we are going to pay for everything that goes with having an infant.
What I do know is that I have a God who has promised to be with me throughout the entire journey.
Without that hope, I’d go crazy.
I don’t know where you’re at or what you’re going through, but I’d be willing to bet that if you looked really hard, you’d find that some hope in your life today. It looks different for everyone, but the one consistent is that it’s there.
Rest easy this weekend knowing you have a provider who has already been where you are now and is already paving the way for where he wants you to go next.
Say your prayers and take your vitamins.
Have a nice day.