I always knew it would come to this. Since I was young, I looked at my dad and his dad and knew one day we would have to say goodbye to each other.
Thankfully that moment isn’t here quite yet, but I thought it’d be good for us to both prepare for it in advance. I’m now 30 and have two kids so your departure is imminent. I don’t want you to go. Please oh please know I want you to stay forever. But I understand if you have to leave.
So for as long as we’re together, I promise to treat you the best I can.
I’m terribly sorry for some of the things I did to you in the past. I had no clue at the time that a bowl cut looked as horrible as it did. Had I know that parting you down the middle would later become known as a butt cut I never would’ve done it. You deserved better than those years throughout middle school.
And in high school, I’m sorry I put so much gel on you. You looked really really good though, even if you couldn’t move with hurricane force winds blowing on you.
Those times I tried to change the way you looked by dying you weird colors? It was only because I knew how important you were to me. I knew if you looked cool or edgy that I would be cool and edgy. And I wanted to be cool and edgy more than pretty much anything else in life.
I will, however, apologize with all my heart that I let the pretty stylist in college convince me to dye just the front patch of you blonde. I left the salon that day and went home, saw what I did to you, and immediately went back to change it the next day. Unfortunately it led to you becoming this awkward orange patch. But we got through it! You rebounded! And before you knew it, we were back to being us again.
So for as long as we’re together, I promise to treat you the best I can. I’ll use the best shampoo and conditioner to make sure you’re clean and healthy. I’ll make sure I only use the proper amount of product so that it hugs you without suffocating you. And I promise, above all else, that I’ll love and appreciate you now more than ever before.
I know you’re on your way out. It makes me sad, but I’m prepared. I’m prepared to make the difficult decision of letting you go. The last thing I want to do is hold on too long once everyone else knows you’re gone. And when that day comes I’ll be sad for what I’m losing, but grateful for the time we had together.
Hair – you’re not as great as Rob Lowe’s, but you’re mine. And I’m thankful for that.
I’ll love you forever and always.