i’ve had the urge to write about something since wednesday of last week. i kept wanting to write about it and want to write about but, well, never got around to writing about it. everything that i did last week and through the weekend just reaffirmed what i wanted to write about. it was like everything was lining up for me to write about this one topic. i mentioned it to bryson on saturday at the alumni event at liberty. i mentioned it to andrew earlier today when talking to him. i had it written out in my head and everything. all i needed to do was sit down and type it out.
so now i’m sitting down and typing.
except i’m not gonna write about that thing.
see, something else came up that i can’t get out of my head. i’m still going to write about the other thing at some point, but i just felt like writing about this one more tonight. hopefully someone reading this will get something out of it and i’ll know i chose the right thing to talk about.
last wednesday night, sometime after dinner but before we went to the skating rink, someone i knew popped in my head. i had no clue why. i hadn’t talked to them in a while, hadn’t thought about them in a while, but i just couldn’t get them out of my head. it was the same feeling i get when i know that i should pray for someone, just more. it was to the level that i thought that maybe i should text them or send something on facebook just to let them know i was praying for them.
that would’ve been awkward though.
so i didn’t do it.
i went to the skating rink, got busy and distracted so i didn’t think about it much. then i got in the car to leave with two of our counselors and they popped in my head again. i even mentioned something to the two guys riding with me. i even updated twitter and said “weird night. way too many things going on in my head.”
i couldn’t figure it out.
i still thought i should say something but i didn’t wanna be “that guy” that just randomly sends a text saying that i was thinking about them and that junk. so instead i prayed for them a lot that night. i actually think i prayed for them so long that i fell asleep mid-prayer.
fast forward to monday. i had gotten the urge to pray for them a few times over the weekend so i did. monday afternoon, i heard from a friend of a friend that some junk was going on with the original person.
i immediately knew why they’d been on my heart and why i was praying for them.
and i immediately regretted not saying anything.
sometimes god works in weird ways. he puts thoughts in our head about people we haven’t talked to in weeks or months. he puts a burden on our heart for that person. most of the time we don’t know why, but he does.
i’m sitting here tonight wondering if a text message or a facebook message would’ve helped at all. i’m wondering if something small to say, “hey, i got your back” would’ve made them smile if only for a minute. i’m wondering if i could’ve been a glimpse of jesus in a dark situation.
i’m wondering all of this because i was too scared to take a step out of my comfort zone.
i was too scared of what the person would think.
i was too scared that it would be awkward.
don’t do what i did. if god puts someone on your heart, there’s a reason. send them a quick text message saying you were thinking about them and that you hope things are going well. or even tell them that you randomly got the urge to pray for them and wanted them to know that at least one person out there had their back.
yeah, it may be awkward, but life is all about awkward moments. yeah, it might be uncomfortable, but you grow more in the times that are uncomfortable than the times when everything is comfortable.
we all need someone praying for us at times.
and some of those times, it is really helpful to be reminded that someone is actually doing that.
say your prayers and take your vitamins.
have a nice day.